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How Many Friends Does A Friend Need?

How Many Friends Does A Friend Need?

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately, not in a losing sleep, I need to find the answer sort of way. More of a ponder, I wonder, oh yeah sort of thing. With a few different friend hats on the go, I often wonder if it’s the same for everyone? I’ve always considered myself more of a floater, (not that sort of floater, potty brain) But I’ve also realised that it’s changed quite significantly over the years;

I breezed through secondary school and college with several bff’s, some I’ve never seen again and others sitting firmly in the Facebook, checking in now and then category. I’ve managed to on to one of my bestest to this very day.  We don’t see each other very often, I’m talking years without any face to face conversation, but we check in now and then and when we do meet up, we pick up from where we left off. I love that we have a shared past and experienced so many firsts, good and bad, together, she still never holds back from telling me when I’ve been a fool! And I take it, because I value her opinion, I guess you do when they’re your friend. Right?

When I separated from my husband, my friends really came good. But one really shone through, she called me daily, counselled me, arranged days out and put me firmly back on my feet with a smile on my face and my self-esteem and confidence firmly intact. I often tell her she’s my guardian angel, she signed sealed and delivered what true friendship means, now that’s what I call a friend.

what makes a friends? do you class family as friends?

Messages from old friends and new, once word got out, sending love (and not just wanting the gossip) saw me through those darkest days too. They’ll never know how much they helped.

I hope they do now.

And that floater thing, (I’m sure there’s a better term than that, answers on a postcard please.) Over the years, I’ve dipped in and out of friendship groups. But it’s the tough times which really cut the wheat from the chaff, these are the times when you find out who the real ones are and who to metaphorically swipe left on. I’ve sacked a few off for one reason or another, usually loyalty, can’t be doing with that two-faced nonsense. If you’re caught out, you’re out. Simples. My Scorpio sting takes no prisoners when I’ve been hurt, I can stone wall like a pro.

There’s also one more thing which puzzles me; Just because you’re related, does that stop them being a friend? Some of my other closest confidants are my parents, siblings, aunties, and cousins. I count them as my friends too, regardless of blood, we genuinely do like each other and above all, we ‘ave a laugh. That shared sense of humour must be in the blood.

what makes a friends? do you class family as friends?
And finally, there’s the ones I’ve gathered up over the years, the ones I put in the fun category. My wine buddies to go forth and get merry with, we keep it light, sometimes gin brings out the deep and meaningful moments. But generally, we gossip, laugh and go home. Perfect.

So a friend for all occasions, regardless of who, what and where horses for courses! It may not be your cup of tea. But it suits me! It’s not counted in how many you have, how close you are, everyone needs a different friend for different occasion, just as long as there’s trust, happy times and dependability,

That’s what I call a friend.

<insert smilie face, maybe a winking one even>




  1. 7th September 2017 / 9:43 am

    Aaah Ali that’s lovely and I know exactly what you mean. I have a best friend, but can always call a handful of other people good friends, and then there are people I love chilling with, cycling with, drinking with … all sorts. But I like the fact that I can only call a handful of people true friends, because you know that’s exactly what they are. I’m glad you’re surrounded by love anyway x

  2. 7th September 2017 / 11:19 pm

    Love this post. I know what you mean. Friends I had when I was younger, I have outgrown. I still have my best friend since I was too, but I think people I meet now and some online are ones I can count on x

  3. 9th September 2017 / 11:11 am

    I know that when I separated from my husband, it was a real defining moment for some of my friendships. As you say, there were people who unquestioningly offered support and a shoulder to cry on, and there were those who wanted gossip or for me to justify why they should be on “my” side. I left a lot of friends behind along with my ex!

  4. 21st November 2017 / 11:34 am

    I just can’t have enough friends. I keep making new friends and parting ways with others. Some friends can be considered as real friends while others normally just waste our time. These are the “parasite” like friends, but the bottom line is that you should have as many friends as possible. How many of your childhood friends are you still in contact with?

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