Will turning 40 mean leaving my happy place?

turning 40, will I be leaving my happy place?

I’ve got 8 weeks left of being thirty, 8 weeks of what’s been the best decade of my life. I keep saying this mile stone out loud, dropping it into conversations like a confession, . Verbally processing the concept that the end is nigh.

I had no idea why I kept doing it, I never made this much fuss turning thirty and my twenties were a welcome sight.
And then it struck me, one lazy Sunday morning as I lay in bed while watching my son snoozing next to me, his beautiful little face so perfect, his hand touching my arm knowing he was safe in mummy’s bed.

Everything was perfect.

That was why I was so reluctant to let go of this last year and step into the unknown forties. So much has happened which made my life complete and my worry was how would I match this? I’ve reached my destination, project me was complete. Everything I strived for these last 10 years achieved.

Now what?

If I’d climbed this high, was the only way down?

Could I maintain the momentum of happiness and perfection which had built up over 10 blissful years?

I’m an optimistic person at heart so this pondering and niggling feeling confused me. But when I looked back at younger years, the signs were there. The terrible teenage years, where I threw away my education for a life of defiance and risk taking. The twenties, when I should’ve been leaving university and at the start of a career but instead stuck in a dead-end job So much happened in those years that changed me forever and there was a time when I thought all was lost.

I had no ambition, no dreams and no idea how to make things better.

And then I became a mum and everything changed. Suddenly I had focus and a desire to plan for a brighter, better future. One where I could not only provide for my son but be a role model, I’d teach him to reach for the stars show him nothing was out-of-bounds.

Time was more precious than ever, my focus sharp and my goal insight yet in those 10 years I’d learnt to drive, completed a degree, carved a career, set up a business and had another baby.

So you’ll excuse my hesitation at leaving my most productive years behind, these are the years when I became me. The happy, business owning, ambitious mum of three.

As I wonder if turning 40 means leaving my happy place.

turning 40, will I be leaving my happy place?

Special thanks to Pouting In Heels who inspired me to finish writing this post.

 

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38 Comments

  1. 22nd September 2015 / 7:55 am

    I too am turning 40 in 2 months time 🙁 I just hate growing old. But I just look at my boys and enjoy my time with them. Until they can stop this aging process I need to stop worrying and start living! 40 will be the time I will do more and stop wishing. Hey 40 is the new 30 right??? ha ha xxxx #TwinklyTuesday

    • 22nd September 2015 / 8:50 am

      That’s what I’m told! I just remember my mum’s 40th, I think that’s why I’m reluctant to embrace it.

  2. 22nd September 2015 / 9:43 am

    Gorgeous lady I have absolutely no doubt in mind that you will continue to shine just as brightly in your forties. I’ve heard time and again that 40 is the new 30, and actually life is even better because by then most of us are completely happy with who we are, where we’ve been and where we are going by then… look forward to hearing about your big celebrations 🙂

    • 22nd September 2015 / 2:02 pm

      Thanks Renee, thats so lovely of you to say so. I guess I never anticipated I’d be where I am right now 10 years ago so I should think more positively really.

  3. 22nd September 2015 / 10:11 am

    I’m a few years away from 40 but agree with you that my thirties have been when I found myself and became content in my own skin. I hope that your 40s will bring more happiness for you and that feeling of contentment will keep growing rather than diminish. For me, it’s not just been the fact that so many of my dreams have been fulfilled during my 30s, it’s also been learning to live in the moment and enjoy it and that is something that won’t change moving forward. #thetruthabout

    • 22nd September 2015 / 2:10 pm

      thats such a good point about moving forward I should look at it that way rather than waiting to fall backwards

  4. 22nd September 2015 / 10:31 am

    Do away with your worries right now, My 40s have been better than my 30s. Watching your children grow into little adults is amazing and it gives you back your freedom as they grow too,. Being in your 40s is wonderful, I’m now rather concerned about the approaching 50s! #Twinkly Tuesday

    • 22nd September 2015 / 2:00 pm

      thats so fab to hear. I’m sure I’ll get use to saying I’m 40 soon and if I don’t my husband will always be there to remind me!

  5. Kerry
    22nd September 2015 / 10:56 am

    I felt similar to you when I turned 30, but in the end I didn’t really feel as though much changed once the milestone came. I have to say you do not look nearly 40 in your profile picture! Turning 40 clearly suits you xx #TwinklyTuesday

    • 22nd September 2015 / 1:59 pm

      awww Kerry, thats so lovely of you. I’m sure I’ll embrace it once I’m there its just i’m not quite ready to hang up my thirties yet.

  6. Katie / Pouting In Heels
    22nd September 2015 / 7:32 pm

    Such a beautiful honest post. Isn’ t it funny how entering a new decade brings up all kinds of reflection?! Age is only a number yet I can remember hitting 30 and knowing so clearly, feeling so instinctively, that life was about to change and it did. Thankfully for the better, because i made it so.

    I have no doubt that your forties will be FABULOUS and not just a happy place, but an even happier one. Believe and it will happen. Life is after all, what we make of it and you lovely lady will have nothing to worry about. x

    P.S Thank you for the very kind mention. x

    • 24th September 2015 / 8:50 pm

      Thanks Kate, that’s so lovely. It was reading your post which make me realised just how far I’d really climbed, thinking about putting the pieces back together and coming out stronger really struck a chord and I’m so appreciative of what I’ve got right now as there was a time when I never dared to dream of being this happy.

  7. 22nd September 2015 / 8:46 pm

    Onwards and upwards I say! I did like Fiona’s comment about looking forward to having more independent children and more personal time and space again – for me that won’t come until I’m in my 50s I reckon… Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout X

    • 23rd September 2015 / 1:08 pm

      I sort of had that and went and ballsed it up by having another baby! Only joking he’s amazing and I love being mum to a baby again.

  8. 23rd September 2015 / 2:23 pm

    Given what you’ve written here about the progress from your teens till now, I imagine the only way is up for you for quite some time.
    #thetruthabout

    • 24th September 2015 / 8:34 pm

      I hope so, you know how it is, when everything is going so well it’s only natural to ponder over how long the momentum will last.

  9. 24th September 2015 / 4:30 am

    I think there is no need for a dramatic change and for things to be different just because of a significant birthday. I found after certain birthdays and milestones, I certainly looked at things differently which perhaps influenced some behaviours, but no massive changes. Keep focussing on what makes you happy and follow your heart 🙂 #BrilliantBlogPosts

    • 24th September 2015 / 8:47 pm

      thanks Emma, I’m not usually that worried about milestones but this one has got.

  10. 24th September 2015 / 9:45 am

    Forty and fabulous by the sounds of it. You should be so proud that you’ve achieved everything that you want to. But I think forty is going to be another amazing journey!! 😀 Make some plans that you want to achieve and I’m sure the next decade will be just as amazing as the last. 😀 x

    • 24th September 2015 / 8:27 pm

      That is such a good idea, I need plans. I have no idea where to start though as I’ve sort pf started all over again.

  11. 25th September 2015 / 11:11 am

    This could have been written by me! I wasted my teens and twenties and did so much in my 30s… learnt to drive, got married, had 3 kids.. I’m 40 in February but really looking forward to a big party and the focus being on ME for a change… here’s to the kids getting a bit more independent and our careers soaring.. clinks champagne glass #difflinky

    • 26th September 2015 / 8:37 pm

      Yay, another teen/twenties mash up! It’s hard to comprehend how many life changers can be crammed into one decade.

  12. 25th September 2015 / 2:18 pm

    You will love your 40’s. They are great, so much changes to make them fantastic.
    I cried when I turned 20, like Peter Pan I wanted to be a teenager forever.
    30’s can’t remember too much work, nappies, sleepless nights.
    40’s loved them. No nappies, no sleepless nights, kicked myself up the b** and got my work/life balance right.
    50’s oh dear……….it all starts to go downhill, literally. Saggy this and saggy that. Achy this and achy that. 60’s? Who knows that’s my next milestone but it will come no matter what I do! Please enjoy your 40’s they really are the best of times.

    Sally

    • 26th September 2015 / 8:39 pm

      lol, that made me chuckle. My mum will be celebrating her 60th 2 days after my 40th so we’re having a 100th celebration! She’s come along way from her 40’s (which were pretty crap) so I’m just hoping we’re both heading into another great decade.

  13. 25th September 2015 / 2:28 pm

    Oh hun what a post! I don’t think you’ll be leaving anything behind, you’re one amazing lady to have done all that. I have no doubt you will continue to do awesome stuff. Enjoy your 40s just as much as you 30s, watch your children grow and turn into wonderful people. Keep your positivity and optimism. The world is your oyster. 🙂
    #BrilliantBlogPosts

    • 26th September 2015 / 8:36 pm

      Thanks Morgan, that’s so lovely of you to say, I really have to start appreciating the young men my boys are turning into rather than clinging onto the past. I am so proud of them and all this nostalgia is clouding that feeling.

  14. Debbie
    25th September 2015 / 4:12 pm

    Hi Ali, you achieved a lot in your thirties and I think you’ll continue to achieve in your forties too. If you hadn’t lived the life you had in you teens and twenties, then maybe turning forty would bring it thoughts of what could have been, but you’ll have non of them.

    Entering your forties is better than entering previous decades as with age comes wisdom.

    #BrilliantBlogPosts

    • 26th September 2015 / 8:34 pm

      that’s so true, I guess by having a progressively improving few decades it all allows me to look back and see how far i’ve come. I’m not so apprehensive after reading all these comments

  15. 25th September 2015 / 10:40 pm

    Age is just a number. You’ll wake up on the morning of your 40th birthday exactly the same person who has achieved so much in the past 10 years. And what a positive place from which to begin the next 10 and many more! Happy birthday x

    • 27th September 2015 / 9:35 am

      I think the hardest thing will be telling people my age so may just avoid the question

  16. John Adams
    26th September 2015 / 6:49 am

    Speaking from personal experience, hitting 40 is no big thing. I just drifted through it and am quite happy with the situation! Enjoy and happy birthday when the big moment comes.

  17. 26th September 2015 / 7:35 pm

    Just be happy and enjoy the moment. Age is just a number and it is just a mindset X

  18. Maria Noell
    29th September 2015 / 10:39 am

    I’m pretty sure that you will rock your forties. Age is just a number and as long as you carry the wisdom, attitude and zest for life that you had in your thirties in to your next chapter… It is going to be even better! xoxo

  19. 25th October 2015 / 8:49 am

    It sounds to me like you have spent your thirties building a fabulous and precious home, business and most importantly, family. I think your forties will be all about enjoying what you’ve built, and building more. You’re starting this decade in an amazing place, just think how much higher you’ll be able to climb from here. I’m just two years behind you and I totally understand your post. Here’s to new adventures! X

    • 25th October 2015 / 9:02 am

      Thank you so much, your words are just amazing to hear. I’ve got 3 weeks left til the big 4-0. I don’t have the plans like I did 10 years ago though and bring quite an organised person so not having any plans is quite unsettling.

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