Coming To Terms With Raising A Teenager

Coming To Terms With Raising A Teenager

Your first born is always your practice child, your learning curve. So many firsts to thrash out between you. It only seems like yesterday he was a cheeky, chatty, lively toddler, we’d happily spend our days  out and about or snuggled up on the sofa, catching up on Teletubbies.
It was just the 2 of us, while Daz was at work,  4 years my baby and I. and he was the best company a mum could wish for. My inquisitive boy, my little friend, my best cuddler. We did everything together and nothing apart. He was my 1st stab at motherhood and ignited something in me that I never knew I had, a love I’d never knew existed. I could be any where in the world, just as long as I had my boy.

Now he’s morphing into a man, the teenage years spent behind a bedroom door, hiding your baby and changing them into something new and beautiful.  So much now goes on behind closed doors. The little boy, full of questions and in need of your persistent protection now questions your word, only reveals what he wants you to know and buffers your attempts to protect him.

A review of the scruffs expedition thermo jacket

Conversations are reduced to instructions;

do your homework, tidy your room, come off the computer.

His bedroom, a cocoon while you have to wait patiently for the butterfly to emerge. But will he emerge a butterfly? What if he’s a moth! No one really likes moths, do they! I’m crossing everything for a butterfly.

Yet every now and then I get a reminder of my little boy, the moments of disorganisation where it’s clear he still needs my guidance or when we chill on the sofa, resting his foot on my knee. Our roles have switched, he’s now the one to reach things from high places for ME.

My little boy’s helping ME,

It’s a change I have to accept. He still needs me, I know, but for more practical things – lifts, money, food. I guess though, I’m still his protector, of sorts.

So my boy is growing up, Ok, I accept it. He’ll be someone else’s soon but to me he’ll always be my little caterpillar.

My Teenager. My boy.

 

This post was first published in January 2015, I’m happy to say we’re through the other side and I’ve got my butterfly.

Looking for more posts on raising teenagers?

read these

finding the perfect forum for raising a teenager

10 things they never told you about raising a teenager

 helping your tween and teenager get active

 

Raising a teenager can be both exciting and exhausting. Good times and bad. They go through immense changes which can be emotional for them and their parents. It's the end of an era. The chrysalis years by Mum in a Nutshell

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45 Comments

  1. Kriss MacDonald
    18th January 2015 / 10:17 am

    Love how you describe the teen years. He looks super cool in your photograph.

    • 18th January 2015 / 1:15 pm

      Thank you, this was a pure fluke catch before he skated off!

  2. 18th January 2015 / 11:32 am

    awww what a really beautiful post, I am mum to a soon to be 14 year old girl and i barely write on my blog bout her as she isnt keen. I so know what you mean about them changing. x

  3. 18th January 2015 / 1:17 pm

    He does’t know I’ve written this but he doesn’t mind me posting the photo as it’s got his board in! I just feel bad not including him very often so thought I’d sneak it on.

  4. 18th January 2015 / 3:36 pm

    What a beautiful post and such a handsome young man you have x

  5. 18th January 2015 / 6:44 pm

    I so know where you’re coming from, my eldest generally only emerges if he needs a lift. It was lovely picking his A Levels though as he opened up about possible plans for the future.

  6. 18th January 2015 / 7:12 pm

    You are so lucky to be able to get photos of him! I can only imagine how it will be if my son is a teenager! #mysundayphoto

  7. 19th January 2015 / 8:19 am

    I couldn’t agree with you more about this teenage stage. My eldest has just turned 14 and spends so much time in her room these days I actually miss her. It’s getting harder and harder to find things to entice her downstairs to spend time with us! But I know this is all part of the growing up process and I’m crossing fingers for a butterfly emerging too! Great picture of your boy – so cool!

  8. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    20th January 2015 / 9:19 am

    Beautiful post and gorgeous pic, love it! xx

    • 20th January 2015 / 10:02 am

      Thanks Victoria, may not be every one’s version if parenting a teen but is definately mine at the moment.

  9. 20th January 2015 / 10:12 am

    Love this post – my eldest is 8 but going on 18 lol!

    • 20th January 2015 / 10:37 am

      Oh no, thats worse. You’ve got years of it ahead of you!

  10. 20th January 2015 / 1:04 pm

    Moths are just as beautiful as butterflies, and he’ll be YOUR moth/butterfly. Some people like butterflies, some people don’t. Some people like moths, some people don’t. I remember being a teenager. Nobody gets you, or you feel like they don’t. It is a huge time for change, and fits perfectly with your cocoon analogy. Butterflies or moths thrive beautifully when they’re nurtured appropriately. He’ll be just fine.

    • 20th January 2015 / 7:51 pm

      You’re so right, I remember my teenage years well ands much happens physically as well as emotionally. I’m trying to get the balance right from my end so we get through these years scar free and see life from his eyes but he still needs reminding to clear up after himself and do his homework. Thanks for you heartfelt comment.

  11. 20th January 2015 / 1:10 pm

    I love the picture your son deigned to let you take of him for this post. I don’t know if it’s the camera angle or his expression or what, but it’s like you can almost see him turning into the adult he’s meant to be. Great work. I’m not to the teenage years yet – it will be a bold new adventure, that’s for sure.

    • 20th January 2015 / 7:48 pm

      Thank you. It was an impulse shot that he didn’t realise I was going to take it and the angle shows how much taller he is than me.

  12. 20th January 2015 / 1:49 pm

    Ah this made me a little sad, such a lovely post though and what a great picture, thanks so much for linking to #PointShoot x

  13. BakedPotato Mummy
    20th January 2015 / 4:04 pm

    This actually made me cry. The thought of my beautiful little boy, not needing me like he does now, is terrifying. It means I have to make the most of the toddler days while I can.
    For a camera-shy teenager, that’s a stunning photo. He looks so cool and handsome 🙂
    #pointshoot

    • 20th January 2015 / 7:38 pm

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment, I’m sorry I made you cry! I’ve been reassured they come back to you and we do have moments when we’re close, I’m just having to adjust to speaking to him like an adult now and he finds it impossible to say I love you anymore which is really hard as we used to have competitions to see who loved each other the most, we called it the ‘i love you more than chocolate game’ He’d die if I tried it now!

  14. 21st January 2015 / 9:48 am

    Fantastic post, he looks so grown up in your photo, you must be a very proud Mum.

    Thanks for linking up with Point + Shoot xx

  15. 21st January 2015 / 1:14 pm

    I love this. I have a seventeen year old boy and can relate. I’ve noticed many of these things: the instructional conversations, the role reversal. I really enjoy seeing how he’s changing and growing. The teen years get a bad rap, but there are good times too!

  16. 21st January 2015 / 2:11 pm

    Aw this makes me want to weep for the idea of losing my gorgeous little boys to adulthood! They drive me mad but you have just described so perfectly the future to me – I just want to appreciate the cuteness a bit longer (*sob*)! Thanks so much for linking up to #thetruthabout

    • 21st January 2015 / 3:02 pm

      It’s not all bad, I promise. But yes, do appreciate it will they’re so cute and cuddly.

  17. Jenny
    21st January 2015 / 7:47 pm

    Ahh what a beautiful post hunny about your son. they will always be our babies our first borns that grow up way too fast. Lovely post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  18. Echo
    22nd January 2015 / 2:55 pm

    Every year, my little boy gets closer and closer to being a teenager, so this hit home for me.

    • 22nd January 2015 / 7:40 pm

      It’s so gradual how the change, you don’t realise it’s happening.

  19. Honest Mum
    23rd January 2015 / 3:32 pm

    This got me all emotional, my boys before I know it, will be teens-your son is so beautiful and what an exciting chapter in so many ways. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

    • 23rd January 2015 / 7:44 pm

      Thank you! You’re right it is an exciting chapter just seeing him grow into a young man is quite something. I really do miss my cheeky toddler though sometimes.

  20. 24th January 2015 / 11:25 am

    Beautifully captured photo.My eldest is 13 this year and he is so like your son.I’m hoping he doesn’t become a brat as he gets older.

    • 24th January 2015 / 11:34 am

      Goodluck, id like to say we reap what we sow but I do think there’s an element of luck when it comes to what type of teen you get.

  21. 4th February 2015 / 6:11 pm

    What a gorgeous boy! I can totally relate to this as my eldest is 13 now and it’s certainly an interesting age!

  22. 19th March 2015 / 2:29 pm

    Love this post! My almost 11 year old thinks he’s a teenager already, but he’ll always be my baby whether he likes it or not!!

    Stevie x

    • 19th March 2015 / 2:41 pm

      That’s what I tell my older , they’ll always be my babies! I’m sure they only pretend to hate it.

  23. Michelle
    11th February 2016 / 5:23 pm

    Reading this made me think of my 14 year old son who has grown so much over just the last year. He also has to reach high places for me now, whereas I used to do it for him. I still get some time with him but he also spends most of his time in his room, in his “cacoon” I love how you describe that. It definitely feels like that is what is happening. Lovely post! Popping over from #bloggerclubuk Facebook group

    • 13th February 2016 / 12:21 pm

      thanks Michelle, I’m glad you see it how i do, it makes me feel more like its a normal part of parenting a teen

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