Mum in a Nutshell is a personal blog, documenting the life of a Devon mum to 3 boys, which you know. And the reason you guys keep coming back to read what’s going on in my little corner of East Devon, or any blog for that matter, is to see a snippet of what normal family life feels like. So it’s only fair that I share what’s going on for me right now.
It actually feels weird saying it out loud, if truth be told, never in a million years did I think I’d ever have to. I made my vows and that was that. I took up my position of wife, general chief decision maker, financial advisor and there I stayed, 21 years in total. For better for worse, till death us do part. But things change, we changed, I changed and I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right.
The nitty-gritty is bye -the-bye and something I’ll never share, the reality right now is that the ugly side of separating with a husband / partner / boyfriend / whatever, is suddenly your relationship becomes public property. A topic of conversation on everyone’s lips and close one’s thoughts. But strangely it’s also a time when people want to talk to you less. So I’m going public with my own words.
You become the elephant in the room, conversations become strained as they desperately try not to mention the word ‘marriage’ or talk of what a wonderful time they had with their spouse. It never bothered me, most days I’m lost in my own thoughts to take any notice and I’ve hid myself away during the early days. Licking my wounds and wondering what the hell I do now.
It’s a fact of life that people talk, and sometimes gossip is good, it helps control behaviour as you try not to be the latest word on the streets. But sometimes that gossip can be cutting as they speculate about what happened. I’d love to share my story but it wouldn’t be fair and one day my children might read this.
So while the gossips do their gossiping, I’m gripped in a roller coaster of emotions; excited about the future and new possibilities. While panicking about the fact I’m going to have to tackle motorway driving if the boys and I are ever going to go on holiday again. It’s a strange old situation which no one can ever prepare you for.
But hey ho, it’s happened and things happen for a reason. I’ve updated my status to single so while I exercise all manners of positive thinking and snuggle in the warmth & support of my amazingly family and friends. I thought it was only fair I told my readers what was going on and to remind you all to trust your insticts. I’m still here, still writing, still smiling and hopefully, with many more new adventures to share.
To be continued….