So what is attachment parenting?

So what is attachment parenting?

I’m one of ‘those’ mums, you know, the type, I admit it, but I make no apologies for my parenting style.
I never set out to be an attachment parent though, I just knew that I wanted to be with my boys and my boys just wanted to be with me. It was simple. Every bone in my body, every instinct and every beat of my heart told me that’s what I needed to do.
Now before you click that little x in the corner of the page, don’t worry, I’m not preaching about how you should or shouldn’t parent your child. Everyone’s different and every family does what’s best for them, for us it was being together. A team. A package. I’m simply sharing my parenting journey for the curious.

You see, from the moment I became ‘Mum’, where ever I went my boys went and we were happy, it just worked. It soon became clear all three of my boys were velcro babies, preferring cuddles and naps in my arms and my bed to the solitude of their cots or the play mat.

I tried, I really did to get them to sleep all night in their cots. I was young (ish) always doubting and comparing. Was it something I was doing wrong? Was I too soft or too weak to enforce a routine? Was I taking the cheats way out? There were so many conflicts between my head and heart. I wanted them with me, but the baby books said No.
So I read, I researched and studied, then realised I wasn’t doing anything wrong at all. I had a style,  everyone has a style, and I was attachment parenting. Instead of creating the clingy toddler everyone was forecasting, I was responding to their cues and building brain connections so healthy, that once my helpless little chaps were ready, would grow into independent young men, with the safety net of experience  knowing I was always there, giving them the freedom to explore the world at their will.
My boys were learning empathy, emotions and blueprints for later emotional health. I wasn’t damaging them, I was nurturing them. I was doing what nature intended. And it felt good.

What is attachment parenting and how do you choose a parenting style? do you set out from the start or pick it up as you go along? here's how I ended up with mine.

I carried on with the parenting style I knew, co sleeping, baby wearing and baby led breastfeeding. Only third time round there was no worry I was doing it wrong.I was proud to declare my attachment parenting title, who cares what others do.

This is me and I’m attached!

I have the most sociable, independent and happiest little boy I could wish for. Sure, he has his off days when he’s tired or poorly and there are the moments when he wants to be carried while I’d cooking the tea, but these moments only last for so long, there’ll soon be day when I’m yearning for those little arms wrapped round my neck once more.

So I’ll carry on scooping him up in my arms, balancing him on my hip and cherishing the closeness and comfort we both adore.

I’m an attachment parent and proud.

what's your parenting style? Attachment parenting has been my thing for 15 years. it's a parenting style thats evolved

 

 

 

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22 Comments

  1. Anita Cleare
    27th August 2015 / 8:29 am

    A beautifully written post. As a parenting ‘expert’ I firmly believe that there is no one ‘right’ way to parent – it comes down to who you are and the choices you make. I guess one of my issues with the title ‘attachment parenting’ is the suggestion that parents who perhaps choose a different parenting style are not attached to their children or don’t prioritise their secure attachment. That’s certainly does not come through in your post (which is very inclusive and all-embracing), I just feel strongly that no parent should be made to feel inadequate and sometimes giving labels creates cliques and rival camps that just don’t need to be there…..

    • 27th August 2015 / 8:43 am

      Thank you, I am totally respectful of other people’s parenting style, I use to deliver bonding classes & always said its about what works for you as a family and not to compare your baby to other’s. I just thought I’d share what’s worked for me & how my style has evolved over 15 years of being a mum. I think what’s important is being in tune with your baby / child and seeing what works for them. X

  2. 27th August 2015 / 8:35 am

    What a beautiful post Ali, really lovely to read darling, and you’ve every right to be so proud. In stark contrast I’ve just weaned my 18mo off the boob, because it was destroying sleep to such detriment of the whole family. I have hated it, feel utterly horrendous about it, but I know it’s the thing for all five of us in the long run 🙁

  3. 28th August 2015 / 10:17 am

    What a lovely post. I rarely use the term attachment parenting but it does sum up my parenting style quite well too. I love that you’ve acknowledged that different parenting styles work for different people – as a parent, I think it is important to listen to our instincts and do what feels right for us.

    • 6th September 2015 / 10:22 pm

      I didn’t use it for a while until I read a fab book on it and realised it was the parenting style I’d been doing all along

  4. 28th August 2015 / 11:23 am

    Thank you for this post. I’m struggling with baby number 2 and it’s just made me feel like I’m doing something right. Thank you.

    • 28th August 2015 / 1:09 pm

      You’re welcome Anna, I just thought after 3 velcro babies it was time to adjust my view of parenting and eased my last baby into the world instead of expecting him to conform to our views. He is such a content baby now.

  5. Silly Mummy
    28th August 2015 / 2:12 pm

    I also have an independent, sociable and secure toddler after doing this, contrary to what some people will try to tell you will happen! Lovely post. #PoCoLo

    • 28th August 2015 / 8:37 pm

      Thank you, I find a lot of the older generation still think you make a rod for your own back if you see to their every need but luckily the opposite has been proved. Great to hear that you have had the same results as me.

  6. 29th August 2015 / 1:32 pm

    This is a great post . I think that whichever parenting style is adopted, people should be supported for it. Everyone is different and that is what makes the world go round! Thank you so much for being this week’s newbie showcase and for linking to #PoCoLo x

  7. Emma's Mamma
    30th August 2015 / 3:01 pm

    Great post! Parenting is such a personal thing and there seems to be so many opinions about it which doesn’t help new parents with their constant doubt. I do a bit of attachment parenting I think. I used to breast feed on demand, I cuddle her when she needs it and I’m becoming quite the expert at doing everything one-handed with a baby/toddler on my hip. My daughter is happy and that’s all that matters! It sounds like you’re doing a great job x #bigfatlinky

    • 1st September 2015 / 8:20 pm

      Thank you, I think it’s becoming more of the norm to adopt a more attachment style due to the research which has been carried out on brain development in babies and the sharing of that information in baby groups. I don’t think there are many who still do the Gina Ford method of looking after babies which I will openly say I hate!

  8. 31st August 2015 / 3:10 am

    What a lovely post! I don’t have my own children yet, but now that I’m reading so many mum blogs, I’m going to be so prepared for that journey! 🙂

    • 1st September 2015 / 8:23 pm

      Thank you Lori, that’s such a good idea to get prepared.

  9. 31st August 2015 / 3:11 am

    How old is your boy now?

  10. 4th September 2015 / 12:31 pm

    I absolutely love how you’ve described your attachment parenting journey. I baby wear and baby led breastfeed. I still doubt myself at times but I’m encouraged by your journey. Looking forward to reading more of your posts
    x SF

    • 4th September 2015 / 8:27 pm

      Thanks Sasha, I think the term puts some people off but essentially it’s just being with your baby as much as poss in the early days. I taught baby development classes for years and realised that you don’t creat a clingy baby by responding to their cues and needs.

  11. 4th September 2015 / 7:11 pm

    What a beautiful and fab post. Love it. As for parenting styles everyone is different but I’m the same as you. And with both boys. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week

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