A CV for a mum of boys

A CV for a mum of boys

Name : Mum 
Current role : Mum of 3 boys
Previous roles : weekend party person, long lazy Sunday morning lie in practitioner, clothes shopping enthusiast

Please state what experience you have gained in your current role:

I can pick up Lego with my toes whilst carrying a pile of laundry,

I can locate any missing items with a 2.5 mile radius,

I am a skilled risk assessor; spotting a clime-able wall, water hazard and skateboard trip hazard from 10 metres.
I am an excellent referee and know the difference between a play fight and a ‘I want to cause damage because I’m cross that you’re player 1 on the games console’ fight.
I can find a working battery in my home to buy an extra 10 minutes peace to save a complete melt down on said games console.
I am able to feed 5 people a healthy meal despite being informed there is no food in the house.
I can spot the early warning signs of excess energy expulsion (sometimes displayed by sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag) by issuing a long walk, wellies and sticks.
I am a quick thinker, on long car journeys where the passengers are starting to irritate each other by exhaling co2 (some people refer to this as breathing) I can think up a distraction game, usually involving the colours of cars (except silver, I never allow silver. )

 

A resume as a mum of boys, are you up to the job?

sofa cushion balancing is a skill

 

Please state your qualifications / training

Food magician 
Public yelling  speaking 
Ability to control behaviour with a ‘look’
Industrial cleaning 
Stain removing (all items including the dog) 
Turning a blind eye when your child is sliding down their knees in a supermarket aisle 
Ability to waste an entire afternoon sorting through Lego to find a green Lego light sabre 
First Aid / rub it better 
How to determine when odd socks are acceptable 
Ability to ignore the fact that your child is the only one who can’t sit still in a school concert 
1001 things to do with a stick 
Accepting that one day you’ll be the shortest person in the house & no longer able to hide your chocolate on top of the fridge 
Bathrooms part 1: Toilet seat wiping, toilet roll replacing, seat lowering and toilet floor mopping
Bathrooms part 2: How not to loose your cool when you sit on the toilet in the morning and find its been sprinkled on.

And finally please can you tell us why you would be the best candidate for this role?

I have 15 years experience in being a mum of boys, I have accepted that ‘things’ need to be held while watching TV, I feel my above mentioned training and qualifications stand me in good stead and am fully aware that with careful and subtle nagging I will be able to produce a son that will be perfect husband material thus ensuring my home will be free of cars, sticks and damaged skateboard wheels one day in the future. thought-out my mum of a son years I have been able to establish when a head rub or a full cuddle is needed and when the only option is to hide the modem to encourage a boy out of bed in the morning.

 

What are your mum skills? Could they land you your dream job? Here's some I've built up as a mum to 3 boys;

 

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86 Comments

  1. 6th July 2015 / 10:17 am

    I have 3 boys also.. I feel your pain/love. I love the bit about searching for a lego light saber.. This is my life.

    • 6th July 2015 / 10:47 am

      Honestly, it’s like the smallest thing I ever have to look for but I won’t let the little bigger escape me!

  2. 6th July 2015 / 10:46 am

    Love this. As a mum to a two year old daredevil I can relate. How do you get stains out? It’s driving me crazy

    • 6th July 2015 / 10:48 am

      I’m forever soaking or at worst bleaching things. I find covering the stain with a badge sometimes helps too!

  3. 6th July 2015 / 1:35 pm

    Oh I so love this post! Had me in stitches but urghh don’t even mention Lego to me! I spend years standing on it in bare feet, then recently they decided to sell loads so I have spent hours hunting for one little bit that’s unique and smaller than my little finger tip and at the bottom of one of 6 different boxes.

    Oh and I posted two big lots of we sold on ebay….to the wrong people and had to pay for a courier service to redistribute the parcels…Lego is not my friend at the moment! 😉

    Stevie x

    • 6th July 2015 / 1:58 pm

      I’m just about to take some boxes up to work but live in fear of taking a rare part!

  4. 6th July 2015 / 6:12 pm

    Love this! I’m only a 363 days into being a mum of 1 boy and I was nodding and giggling along! That sofa cushion trick does look pretty good, you’ve got a performer in the making there! Hehe xx

    • 6th July 2015 / 7:41 pm

      It was tempting to have a go but I have to set an example (sometimes) these boys don’t half keep you on your toes though I tell you!

  5. 6th July 2015 / 9:59 pm

    Tie dying to disguise stains also works according to crafty bloggers. Lego is also a girl problem. Tiny pieces, hard on the feet … Evil!

    • 6th July 2015 / 10:12 pm

      I love that idea! shame I can’t do it with school shirt though. Lego lurks in every corner in our house, I take comfort in knowing its a girl problem too, I guess all this could apply to some girls though.

  6. 7th July 2015 / 6:41 am

    Haha, hilarious post! I just have the 1 boy at the moment but I’ve always known I’ll be a Mummy of boys, can relate to this already! #TwinklyTuesday

  7. 7th July 2015 / 9:19 am

    This is hilarious. Employers really should take mum-skills into consideration! #TwinklyTuesday

    • 7th July 2015 / 9:45 am

      If only! I think the sky’s your limit if we listed all the normal everyday things we do!

  8. 7th July 2015 / 9:25 am

    I love this!! And let’s face it, if you can raise boys you a pretty much a master at anything!! #twinklytuesday

  9. MummyOnMyMind
    7th July 2015 / 9:50 am

    Haha this is just brilliant! You’re hired! #twinklytuesday

  10. 7th July 2015 / 10:00 am

    This is fab!!! I am currently mum of one boy but that will be a plural in a few short weeks and I feel like I have gained great insight from this haha!
    #twinklytuesday xx

    • 7th July 2015 / 10:03 am

      Fore warned is forearmed! Good luck with you next arrival, boys are fab!

  11. 7th July 2015 / 10:26 am

    Lol – love it. Like I said on twitter. I have a girl and 3 boys…she helps me keep them in check #TwinklyTuesday

    • 7th July 2015 / 12:17 pm

      I’ve just booked a few days with my sister to see if my niece can sort them all out!

  12. 7th July 2015 / 10:49 am

    Hahaha! FAB post! As a mum to three small boys there are some of these I am yet to experience, but I think I am pretty prepared! I like to think I’m already pretty good at checking out an area for ‘boy risks’ 🙂 xx

    • 7th July 2015 / 12:16 pm

      It certainly comes with the territory doesn’t it. We’ve learnt the hard way!

  13. 7th July 2015 / 11:33 am

    Love it! ‘first aid/rub it better’ that just about sums it all up doesn’t it xx

  14. 7th July 2015 / 11:53 am

    I love this. I am coming up to 6 years experience as a mum of boys. This really made me smile. I host a linky for funny posts on a Friday called #FridayFrolics if you fancy linking up. #twinklytuesday

  15. 7th July 2015 / 2:33 pm

    I love this Ali! Life with boys is definitely challenging isn’t it?? All that energy we might have once put into maybe reading the paper or researching some new recipes or something now goes into finding that blooming light saber! I hope the job interview goes well 😉 #thetruthabout

  16. 8th July 2015 / 8:01 am

    I found myself nodding along to most of this but particularly the computer related ones and the look that says it all. Just brilliant! #MMWBH

  17. 8th July 2015 / 10:03 am

    ha this is brilliant. I’ll have to share with my mother-in-law – she is a mum of 5 boys!! #MMWBH

  18. 8th July 2015 / 12:34 pm

    Oh gosh, yes I forgot about knee-less trousers! I use to search out ones with reinforced patches when mine were little.

  19. Vikki
    8th July 2015 / 8:07 pm

    Love this & it made me laugh: I’m a Mum to 2 boisterous boy. Thank you x

  20. OutnumberedMum
    8th July 2015 / 9:15 pm

    I laughed at the sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags. My 2 boys do that too! I love this post!

    • 9th July 2015 / 7:43 am

      I just find it odd as I could only manage the courage to bump down on my bum but they just have no fear!

  21. 9th July 2015 / 8:21 pm

    Aaah I love this post!! And even though my two boys are only two years old, I can see that I will be a master of most of the things on this list as they get older!! I LOVE being a mum of boys — what a blessing. Even though I sometimes forget it, when I’m picking up Lego for the millionth time! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • 9th July 2015 / 9:25 pm

      Thanks Caro, you soon find that Lego decorating every floor in your house is just normal though, even the hoover ignores it now.

  22. 9th July 2015 / 10:24 pm

    Thank yo Lucy, that’s really kind of you to say. You’ve got to see the fun side in it all or I’d just go bonkers!

  23. 10th July 2015 / 9:09 am

    Ha ha! Fab! I have one toddler girl, but see a lot of transferrable skills here already. 🙂

  24. 10th July 2015 / 12:51 pm

    Brilliant! So accurate. I have one boy and one girl and I could write the same…except in our house my girl is faaaar more untidy than my boy and he usually keeps her in check!!

    • 12th July 2015 / 11:18 pm

      really, that’s so funny, all the boys on my family are scared of the one little girl we have.

  25. 10th July 2015 / 1:23 pm

    “Things need to be held” – eep we’ve not reached that stage yet!
    #MMWBH

  26. 10th July 2015 / 9:08 pm

    hahaha! This made me laugh out loud!
    I don’t have any boys….It sounds like they keep you busy x

  27. 10th July 2015 / 9:11 pm

    Keeping your cool when you sit on the loo seat and realise it’s been sprinkled…that made me laugh. I have one boy in the house and that still happens 🙂 #pocolo

  28. 10th July 2015 / 9:52 pm

    I have only 1 boy and I can still totally resonate with this post!! Well done mama xx #brilliantblogposts

  29. 10th July 2015 / 10:28 pm

    Great post! I don’t have sons but I still encounter the ‘sprinkling’ on the loo from my grown up boy… It seems some things don’t change… Thanks for guest hosting #pocolo

    • 10th July 2015 / 10:42 pm

      No, I think my grown up boy probably lets the younger ones take the blame!

  30. 12th July 2015 / 9:59 am

    Absolutely genius! love it 🙂
    I’m outnumbered by the males in our home, so I can relate to most of this, and wouldn’t change it for anything .
    Great post.

    • 12th July 2015 / 11:23 am

      I love my boys, I’m a very proud mum to my trio of testosterone

  31. 12th July 2015 / 10:04 am

    hahaha I love this and can relate to most of it. I love the feeding the family when there are claims of no food in the cupboards. i’m an expert at that one . Thanks so much for linking up to #ToddlersAndTeens

  32. 12th July 2015 / 11:21 am

    I have a boy and a girl. Boys amd tpoilets. *shiudder* I can add, from the girl-mum CV , the ability to show a serious informed interest in all sorts of spurious youtube videos of people opening piles and piles of My Little Pony toys and talking about them, from which you can see that she’s the one I have to hide the ipad from and I can see that my general online prowess and tech mentenance skill are going to get a good sprucing up soon so that I can keep up/ work out what to ban/ hide/ reroute/ repair.

    • 12th July 2015 / 1:49 pm

      I like that she’s got the skill and makings of a tech queen already and I honestly didn’t realise that there were videos like that!

  33. 12th July 2015 / 1:37 pm

    Love this – especially the part about turning a blind eye to your boys sliding down the supermarket aisles on their knees lol – just as well you got the job eh!? #sundaystars

    • 12th July 2015 / 1:46 pm

      I must admit though, it does look fun and given half the chance I’d have a go!

  34. 12th July 2015 / 4:12 pm

    This is so great. Two boys in and I can relate to all of that ‘I can pick up Lego with my toes whilst carrying a pile of laundry’ and searching for the lightsaber -time well spent of course!! the bathroom!! Oh yes and turning a blind eye! Yes Yes. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I get to do things I never would have done, says the woman who is on her second shower of the day due to a chocolate fight. Great fun

    • 12th July 2015 / 9:20 pm

      Chocolate fight! That sounds amazing although I wouldn’t fancy the clearing up afterwards

  35. 12th July 2015 / 4:15 pm

    Just fab! Only have 1 boy but know what you mean! You’re doing a fab job – although sounds mega exhausting!! 🙂 Thanks for linking up – much appreciated. Jess xx

    #SundayStars

    • 12th July 2015 / 9:19 pm

      1 or 6 I think it’s all the same considering they’ll be play dates too.

  36. Emma's Mamma
    12th July 2015 / 9:14 pm

    Brilliant! You’re hired – oh I forgot you already are lol! x #SundayStars

  37. 13th July 2015 / 7:55 pm

    Absolutely brilliant post and I have two boy toddlers so know there is more fun to endure and be challenge d, oh the joy!

    • 15th July 2015 / 12:54 pm

      You’ll know exactly where I’m coming from then and apologies for giving you a glimpse of your future!

  38. HonestMum
    13th July 2015 / 11:15 pm

    This made me laugh then worry about when my sons will marry and leave me (ha). I adore being a Mum to my boys but I do worry about the girlfriend years! Thanks for linking up and I’m impressed with your lego skills. wow!

  39. Karen (@karenjwhitlock)
    14th July 2015 / 10:11 pm

    Genius post!! Love it – although slightly different experiences so far as mum to girls.
    Thank you so much for linking up with #SundayStars

  40. 29th September 2015 / 8:36 am

    This is lovely! I’ve got two boys and I know exactly what you are talking about. There is a constant trail of mud in and out of my doors. Boys are so much fun and so imaginative, but I sleep so well at the end of the day!

    • 29th September 2015 / 8:30 pm

      Life’s never dull as a mum to boys is it! And the stick piles don’t stop even when they’re teenagers!

  41. 2nd January 2016 / 6:41 am

    Love this! I have two boys, plus a girl. My eldest is already bigger than me, as he likes to mention all the time. I’m forever having to deal with fights and arguments between the boys. My additional skill is ability to stand on a cold, wet touchline in winter for hours on end.

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