I’ve toyed with whether or not to share this post. As a Scorpio, I sometimes take comfort in being secretive, which may come as a surprise being a blogger who shares and documents every part of their life to friends, family and strangers. Yet what you probably don’t know is how selective I am in what I share. I have a rule of blogging by which I follow, ensuring I never feel overly exposed and am in control of how much I want you to know.
I never set out to be a blogger, you see. My blog was a product of a conversation between friends. A friend who has an unbelievable skill of encouragement, making you believe you can do anything. She sees a quality in people which they never knew existed and plants the seeds of inspiration in a manner so subtle you don’t even know it’s happening.
So with this seed of encouragement, I began writing about my new life with 3 boys , at a time when my confidence was quietly slipping away. I’d taken a gamble on fulfilling our dream to have a 3rd baby, hoping to return to the job that I’d studied for and loved. A job that gave me the confidence to walk into a room full of strangers and share my knowledge, the confidence to help people in their most vulnerable times, the confidence to pursue a career AND have a family. I didn’t bargain on walking out of the office door and leaving that confidence behind. It never struck me I’d be returning a different person with different dreams, different ambitions, different goals. With maternity leave came changes I’d never bargain for. I now no longer knew who I was or who I wanted to be.
And then I blogged. I wrote. I photographed. I networked.
I wrote for pleasure, for excitement, for memories and with it my identity returned.
I didn’t plan on ever being a blogger, but at a time when I thought I’d lost my way, my confidence slowly returned.
I know my writing’s sometimes sloppy, a side effect of sleep deprivation and trying to do too much at once, but my blog keeps me focused and organised. It’s introduced me to a community of like minded people who have filled the gap left by colleagues. I’ve read some truly inspiration posts that have put my own simple life into perspective and I’ve seen how this virtual world has changed people’s lives for the better.
What maternity leave has given me is a time to reflect on what’s important in life, a time to step out of the norm and see what else is out there, a time to make changes and the confidence leap into the unknown. Out with the old and in with the new.
Maternity leave has given me a time to blog.