Mature/old/experienced or all the above? How old do you have to be when considered an old mum?
We’d always toyed with the idea of having three children, despite always proclaiming that I’d only ever have 2, by the time number 2 came along I never felt finished. Quite the opposite infact. It just felt too normal, too structured. A mum, a dad, a house, a car, a dog and 2 children. We were living the western ideal of what a family should be and it just didn’t feel right.
I’m no rule breaker but there’s a side of me that sometimes like to break away from the norm and 2 children felt too ‘normal.’ (Not knocking anyone with 2, BTW) All the time I was yearning for a troop, like mother duck waddling around with her ducklings behind her, the chaos of kids was the life for me and I knew that one day our 2 would become 3. (Ooooo that rhymes, I like it!)
Anyway, life got in the way and before long I was on the wrong side of thirty so if we were going to do this, we needed to do it now. I didn’t want to be an old mum. The only problem being, my old lady eggs took a little kick starting after laying dormant for nearly 10 years and that wrong side of thirty pretty soon became hurtling towards forty and with it a realisation that
Pants! I was going to be that old mum I was trying to avoid
Sometimes life doesn’t always go as planned but I’m a strong believer in things happening for a reason and I started to really wonder what made an old mum ‘old’? And was it really that bad after all?
I’m not going to lie that the pregnancy wasn’t as trouble free as it was in my twenties. Crippling SPD, nausea, tiredness, heartburn and a constant worry that I was doing the right thing plagued me. I tried desperately to enjoy this last chance at the miracle of life but I couldn’t see the wood for the trees and there was no denying that being within sniffing distance of forty was my blame for everything.
Then it struck me, it wasn’t being an old mum that caused these problems. The more I reached out the more I realised that mums of any age suffered from those horrible pregnancy side effects. So I stopped waving the geriatric card and tried to focus on the positive.
When my little baby was finally here, the recovery wasn’t any longer, in fact, having a little age and experience on my side meant I was better at articulating my needs and this case it was a self induced baby bubble where I stayed in and eased my baby into this brave new world. I didn’t push myself out on the obligatory walk round the village with he pram until either of us were ready.
And I enjoyed every moment of those early days, where age just didn’t come into to it.
So who cares if I’m an old mum, I certainly don’t feel it if I am anyway. Age is just a number and whether you’re 18 or 48, having babies and raising kids isn’t age associated, what’s important is that you put your children first and look after your self. I’ve tried it both ways and they both rock.
And I’ve decided, I’m not an old mum. I’m vintage.