I’m fully into the transition of family of four into a family of five and I’m happy to report it’s gone alot smoother than anticipated.
The sleepless nights are bearable, sons one and two have fully embraced the shifts in status and I’m still married!
One thing I have noticed is how different my take on being a mum to a newborn has changed with each baby.
In the blissfully unaware months of pregnancy 2000 I sought advice and welcomed it, following religiously. My midwife and health visitor were my oracles, I read magazines & books and subsequently worried, questioned and confused myself at all the information I was consuming.
I shared my baby because I thought I was supposed to, even though my heart told me to keep him close.
I did as was told, never questioning professionals or older family members, I was a mere first time mum, what did I know? ( unaware that my instincts were to be trusted).
I breastfed every 3-4 hours (and never in public) when he would sleep through at 8 weeks I presumed I couldn’t provide enough milk, I gave up & tried formula. I expected him to know how to sleep (alone) in his crib, and felt guilty for cuddling him at night. (Formula didn’t help him sleep incase you were wondering.
Co sleeping wasn’t a word I knew existed!
I had everything new,dressed him to impress and every buggy walk was a cat walk.
I was fumbling through motherhood.
By the time baby 2004 arrived I became defensive, I’d journeyed through one baby and this time I knew what I was doing. I didn’t want to share, the advice was still coming in thick and fast but I opted to follow my own parenting method, the one known as ‘I know what I’m doing big off and leave me alone.’
When he didn’t sleep and someone suggested I try formula, I breastfed longer (but covered up when in public.) When that didn’t work I brought him into our bed.
I secretly questioned my methods and read up on books. Clothes were recycled from baby 2000 and buggies were replaced on a regular basis (thanks to a serious eBay obsession!)
I was marching though motherhood.
Fast forward 10 years to baby 2014. I quietly know what I’m doing, I’m no longer a target for advice, this has been replaced by 2nd (3rd, 4th, 5th!) hand clothes. Mornings are no longer a fashion show, fuelled by an on trend, decision making process, if it fits & is clean, it’s through to the next round.
I’ve bought a 2nd hand (possibly 3rd thanks to some creative gumtree descriptive advertising) buggy that I hope to see through to toddlerhood, I’m getting better at ignoring the squeaks & rattles and my eBay obsession now under control now.
My reading time is reduced to a quick catch up on Facebook.
I Cuddle him to sleep
Breastfeed to sleep
Breastfeed to comfort
Breastfeed on demand (such a horrible word, let’s call it baby led)
Breastfeed in public.
And I’ve finally realised that more milk makes a happier baby and follow the mantra if in doubt- whip ’em out!
I accept that I’ll be woken at night, knowing these broken nights won’t last forever.
3rd time baby is happy, calm and content.
I’m relaxing through motherhood.
With love from lovely Devon.